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New Year's Resolutions

10. Not to "mark" the artificial Christmas tree next year, people don't like that

9. Get that idea for TV show "Dogs Behaving Badly" off to Hollywood

8. Think up a good "stupid people trick", get on the Letterman Show.

7. Get Toby's Cat Catcher Dead or Alive Cat Trap written off as a "business expense".

6. Stop coughing up fur balls on the couch.

5. Get more (read "some") exercise.

4. Learn to drive a stick shift.

3. Find a professional football team with some (any) moral standards to root for

2. Put "Dead Cats - We're For 'Em!" bumper sticker on the Clinton limo

1. Try to remember where we buried that "live cat time capsule" on New Year's Eve.

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